I’m not sure whether all HYDE fans suffer from severer complexes, or is it just me driving myself insane because I love this man so much.
I wrote a little
rant about this man nearly 2 months before I left for Japan to see the VAMPS Tour and Jack in the Box, and I didn’t think I would do a part 2 of it after coming back.
I actually don’t know how to describe this guy. He is talented, has great taste, charismatic, hardworking, ambitious, always knows what he wants and constantly working towards his goals. He has a heart of a child, innocent, wishing for many, many things, but he is also very mature and adult like in his ways of doing things. But he could also have been way too obsessive. Once he gets his mind on something, it is probably very difficult to convince him otherwise, like all the too consistent themes of VAMPS from the start, the sloppy slogan of SEX BLOOD ROCK N’ ROLL, that ugly red mouth with fangs coming out that appears on everything. And his taste… OMG, I could hardly believe this was the same man who designed the Hello t-shirt, which worth multiple times of its original price now, and the man who came up with the idea/ concept of Roentgen PVs and album. I bought some of the goods from both his previous tour as well as this tour… most of them made me wince, either of their ugliness or their poor quality in comparison to their price tags. Especially comparing to the few ken goods that I was able to buy in JITB. And a collaboration with Snoopy??? How did it enhance the band’s hard rock image still remain a history to me. But I must admit the Snoopy t-shirt is very comfortable to wear, even though it looked like it been worn like 10 years already when I opened the packaging. Looking at all the fan girls and fan boys dressed themselves in the goods when we all stood around in train stations or at various venues I kinda feel sorry for ourselves. I actually saw very few people wearing his Hello T-shirt… OMG, every time I did I nearly died in insane jealousy. Amazingly his fans are highly capable and adaptive. So what if the tote bag is transparent and shows all contents inside, they put the one from last year inside and made it look even better. So what if the clutch bag was the cheapest looking thing ever, only not so cheap, they secure it onto their designer bags. But I must admit the stage at USJ really impressed me, despite how VAMPS-ish it was.
What really annoys me is the fact that the man has endless muses and ideas, and he really loves to try things out. When we first heard about the VAMPS would be covering Trouble, we all thought it would be the most ridiculous thing ever. Yet, he made it work like no one else could. This song was amazing when performed in live. I had seen older fans/ male fans who tried to maintain their cool image giving up their composures and all just danced along whenever it was played. But he could be so focused on the broader view that he misses very obvious small things, and these small things end up doing incredible damages. Yes, I’m talking about the stage setting in both Nihon Gaishin Hall in Nagoya and Budokan in Tokyo. I seriously think the man love performing in small live houses so much, especially because he hadn’t been able to do it while in Laruku for such a long time, he actually forgot the band was to perform at the front 10,000-30,000 people in both venues. There were no side screens… OMG, I could not even imagine it happening in my wildest dreams, and he turned it into a reality. In the total 6 lives that took place in these venues, I could only say I was able to appreciate the true genius of the stage design in 2 of them, because you have to be fairly aligned to the stages, and reasonably close. In most shows I was either very far away from the stage, the worst case being first live in Nagoya, I couldn’t even tell the difference between KAZ and HYDE, thanks to the facts that there were no side screens, and the stage lightings/ use of screens etc were so complicated that it was incredible hard to see the members; or very far on the side, so when I did get to see HYDE on both of the background screen, and the mesh like screen on the very few occasions I saw his head on one, and the rest of him on another… and the 2 parts didn’t match up… and when they showed the large VAMPS logo mouth, the lips never matched because the top lip would be on one and the bottom would be on another… just plain freaky…
I know I said I was glad that I only attended 2 days of the lives in USJ because it was so incredible tiring to stand under the sun for 5 to 6 hours each day from queuing to end of live. Now I regretted my decision to go to Kyoto instead every single so much now. Not only the set list was the best, and stage set up was creative, but not excessive up to a point that makes most fans difficult to enjoy the lives to their fullest extent. In fact after the 2 lives in USJ, I was dying for an easy night, I wanted a live that I could enjoy without much suffering. And my wish was granted. I was on the 2nd floor of the Nihon Gaishin Hall, enjoying the air conditioning. There was no pushing or squashing. And guess what, I wanted to die. I couldn’t see any of the members clearly… I tried to get myself into the live as usual, but I was so half hearted. By the end of the night, I had so much unused energy left that I wanted to hit my head against a wall. Out of the last 6 lives of the tour, I would say my view at the 2nd day of Nihon Gaishin Hall was by far the best, despite having another small block at the front of me and I wasn’t at 1st line in my block. And because I could see the members clearly, what a difference it made! I was so exhausted after the live, but I was so incredibly happy. HYDE was right when he said he was the S on the stage, and we were all Ms.
But I didn’t have such luck again. At some point, Hunting became my favourite song, just because all the lights would go up for an extended time in this song, and I could have a good look at HYDE, the fact that I can never stand the song was not relevant. It was very depressing to know I could have much, much better view if the stage lighting wasn’t so excessive.
In Budokan, the first night I was on the very back roll of the 2nd floor. God knows why they sold the standing tickets at the very back when they didn’t even sell out all the seating ones. The second night I was on the very far side on KAZ’s side on 1st floor. They actually withheld section of the seats on both sides of stages because they were so on the side that people would not be able to see anything. And I was right on that edge, and I was using a hydist mobile site ticket. The third night, I was in the first line block in the arena with a FC ticket. But I had a number after 500, so by the time it was my turn to get in I had no choice but to get to the back of the block instead, at least I wouldn’t be blocked as much. On the final night, I had a much better number, and I was able to be in the first line against the fence. I thought the view was going to be OK, despite having another block before me. After the last a few lives I had lowered my expectations and standards. Then a few minutes later I realised at least 1 camera guy was positioned right at front of me. He did move a little, so most of times I could see the stage relatively easily. The girl behind me pushed really hard, obviously not accepting she was second in line, wanting to squeeze in from my left side. In other circumstances I probably would let her, because there was a bit of space on my right, but no thanks to the camera man, if I moved just a little further right, I would be blocked by him. No wonder there was no pressure from the right side for the entire night. And the staff members… In USJ they were so organised, they didn’t move unless their assistance was required. And in Budokan, quite a few of them walked around, hung around doing god knows what and the space at the front of me seems to be a favourite spot. There was a camera man who walked around shooting fans etc, and he had to have an assistant who wasn’t exactly short. He carried his bag and just hung around. He blocked my views repeatedly. Some staffs when they walked between blocks they lowered their bodies and tried not to interrupt, and this guy obviously didn’t know he was driving me nuts. He was in the way when HYDE sang Sweet Dreams so beautifully on that night, oh God, I swear HYDE was crying because I saw him wiping his face quite a few times on the large screen. And he also ruined Evanescent for me on that night. If only there were side screens, these things would not be so much issue for me, but when the stage was the only source of view it all became very different.
After the first live in Budokan I realised he wasn’t going to change the stage setting. And I was so tired with my seatings, frustrated with my luck, and so filled with endless not so nice things to say about HYDE that I cried to
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aalenchan more than once that I wanted this to be over, I just wanted to go home. I was just so exhausted both mentally and emotionally. But deep inside I knew I didn’t meant it. I know it may sound totally laughable… but it was almost like HYDE knew I was suffering and he was trying to make it all better. When I was able to collapse, he sang Mission. When I was angry he sang Season’s Call. When I questioned why I love this man so much, he made Evanescent and Sweet Dreams dreamily beautiful. He made me cry so many times in this trip I lost count. I was so down in the last live, and it was when he sang Times Goes By. It was the only time this song being played in the entire tour.
aalenchan wanted it to be played so badly that she believed it would happen on the last day firmly. And I lost my ability to wish for anything at that point. But he did it during encore. And I cried like a child. One of the camera men walked by and realised I was crying and started to film me. Charlie, or whatever name you go by, if I see my tear stained face in any of the DVDs you are in so much trouble!!! Oh God, I must have looked a mess with all my make-up ruined. By the last live, he must have realised there was a huge issue with the stage set up, but it was already too late to set up side screens, so he did try to make better use of the background screen. The stage lighting effects were also less excessive. In one of his MCs, the mess screen showed his face. I nearly cried just because I could see him so clearly. And he was being his most adorable self ever. He even ran towards the camera, and kissed it, so we saw his gigantic lips. I was like “hah, don’t pretend to be cute, it isn’t going to work on me” the first time he did it, it was like he knew what I was thinking and he did a second time, and I smiled. By the time he did it again I couldn’t help myself and just laughed. He has the ability to make people happy just so easily, it is just amazing.
I hate the man, I love the man, I don’t know any more, I just don’t. He is just so hard to understand. It makes him incredibly attractive and addictive, but also drives me insane. Just like the re-arrangement of Sweet Dreams he played at lives, and its PV being played, they were so beautiful. I told myself before I wasn’t going to give in and order a single with a song that is already been released in an album, but I simply couldn’t resist. Then I saw the flyer they handed out outside the venue after one of the lives to promote this single, I felt like ringing his little neck… OMG… the cover… this is so not a Sweet Dream, more like H Dream… T^T Why does he always do this kind of things to me???????
And
aalenchan, despite everything I said to you after our visit to Royal Flash, you would be pleased to know I started crying after getting on the Narita Express Train to the airport. And I cried for hours in the plane, trying to hide myself in my seat. I don’t even understand why. I mean I saw Laruku’s L’7 live in Hong Kong. Every member was perfect in everything they did. And HYDE sang like an angle. Yet, I didn’t loose control of myself. And this tour, it was flawed, and yet I lost count of times I cried
(Edited: Don't get me wrong. Whenever I cried in lives was because I was moved by his live performances. I had like 0 resistance to Season's Call, Evanescent and Sweet Dreams. There were 1 time he played Season's Call and Evanescent in a roll, and made me totally burst into tears. 10 seconds later he was filming girls at the front role with large boobs. I don't want to know what my face looked like at that moment... Oh that little dork! >///< ). Even I think myself as being completely ridiculous, but it was like everything was out of my control.
It was hard to say whether I enjoyed my trip, but if given the choice again, I would still choose to go. HYDE was right when he said live was addictive. Even as I sat in my office, by the time 3 o’clock came by I had this incredible urge to go and grab my make-up bag and my VAMPS clothing so I could do my usual pre-concert preparations. It just felt so wrong sitting at the front of my computer and trying to understand what all the numbers I was seeing meant. Ken-chan said attending live was like having sex, with all the fans were being incredible intimate with each other, body parts rubbing. It was like we were all fucking each other, but fantasising same band/ person. The smell, the sweatiness, the brutal pushing… I don’t know how any one could call them enjoyable especially in summer days, but I’m so addicted to it already.
And I don’t know how it is possible, but I miss the man like crazy.
